worse than boogers

So...  my nose is sometimes horrifically filled with nasty little black dots.  This has plagued me since I was a wee babe.  Well, not so much me, but my father had it the worst..  I used to sit on his lap and push his nose in until thousands of little worms crawled out of the ENORMOUS pores on his nose.  I hope that it amused him as much as it did me.   I stress the word ENORMOUS bc this is hereditary and soon the same pores exploded on my poor, little face, making 8th grade pictures as memorable as all other teen tragedies.  So I got some of those Biore pore strips.  You have to remember those things.  They promised that all tar pits would be removed from my nose in one swipe.  All I had to do was wet this unassuming strip and shalack it to my nose.  Eager as I could be, I did just that.  And waited for the sumbitch to dry.  After the longest ten minutes in life, I was ready to remove this pasty delight, which had now become something similar to paper mache on my face.  I was not deterred by the resistance that the first tug met.  I decided to go hard or go home.  And......

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